Chapter 2: The Name of an Uncontrollable Emotion

───● The Childhood-Friend-Type College Girl Gets Jealous ●○●

The summer vacation of your life.

That’s what university life in Japan is sometimes called, because while it’s difficult to get in, it’s easy to graduate.

Vocational schools and science-focused universities might be exceptions, but it’s certainly true for many in the humanities.

The university I attend, if I had to classify it, would fall on the “summer vacation” side of the spectrum.

If you just live a normal life, you can graduate… I think. Precisely because it was so hard to get in, not many students seem to struggle with assignments.

And because it’s called the summer vacation of your life, all the students want to enjoy their time here.

“I can’t catch! A man!”

…My friend sitting next to me, Mizuho… Tonosaki Mizuho, seems to be the type who wants to go all out and enjoy the romance side of things.

“It’s already been two months since we enrolled!? I should have caught at least one or two guys by now, right!?”

“No, your standards are way too high…”

Mizuho swings her trademark twintails around, her emotions on full display.

One or two guys… Just how many girls do you think finish university without ever getting a boyfriend…?

“No way, that’s not true! This is our precious university life!? If you don’t go on tons of dates with a boyfriend, do the deed, and have a bunch of fun, what’s the point!?”

“Could you please not talk about that so loudly…?”

“For now, I shall arrange a mixer without fail. When I do, I insist that you, Lord Koumi, attend as well.”

“Who are you?”

It seems my friend has gone a little crazy from the heat. Well, she’s always been this energetic, though.

As I was thinking, oh brother, Mizuho suddenly whipped her head and twintails around to look at me.

Eh, what, that’s kinda scary.

“Hey, Koumi. You’re hiding something from me, aren’t you.”

“Eh? I, I don’t think so…”

“Oh yes, you are! Well then…”

Mizuho jabbed a finger right at my face.

“Who’s the hot guy you’re taking classes with!”

“Gulp…”

I was definitely hiding something.

“I thoooought something was weird lately. You suddenly started saying you couldn’t take the classes we were supposed to take together. And when I asked our other friends, they said, ‘Koumi suddenly stopped taking classes with us.’”

I knew I’d get found out eventually.

I mean, until now, I had friends I took almost every single class with.

Since I told nearly all of them I couldn’t take classes with them anymore, of course it would get out immediately…

“And when I looked over at the corner of the classroom? There’s some hot guy there? And a totally smitten Koumi next to him?”

“I-I’m not smitten!”

“Oh yes, you were smitten. That was the face of a woman in love.”

W-Was I that obvious…? I’m starting to get embarrassed.

“Well, it’s fine, but… you are going to introduce me, right?”

“Ah… umm…”

I had a feeling this might happen.

Fundamentally, boys are still scarce, and my… well, he’s not mine yet, but Masato is conventionally handsome, has a perfect personality, and is a total catch. No, he’s more than a catch. I’m sure if other women learned about the kind of person Masato is, they’d flock to him with ‘sold’ signs in their hands.

Though I’d beat them all back.

That’s why meeting him that day was truly a miracle. Or rather than a miracle… it was like fate.

I mean, right? A fateful encounter like that is rare even in manga.

“Um—Koumi-san?”

“Ah, ah, sorry, sorry.”

This wasn’t the time to be spacing out. Right, she wants an introduction… what should I do here?

Honestly, my mind was already made up.

“Sorry. I really can’t do that.”

“Ehh~! Why not! We promised to share information on guys.”

“I’m sorry!”

“…”

I put my hands together and bowed my head, cutting off Mizuho’s words.

It’s true, as Mizuho said, we did make that promise.

To be honest, back then I didn’t think I’d fall this hard for one person, and I had a casual attitude, like it would be nice to date someone.

Now, everything is different.

“I’m serious. I’m sorry… that person… I can’t give Masato up to anyone.”

It’s the first love I’ve ever truly felt.

This, and this alone, I couldn’t give up to anyone.

As I kept my head bowed, I heard Mizuho sigh.

“Haaah… If my bestie is gonna bow her head to me like that, I can’t say anything more.”

“Sorry… thanks.”

“But! In that case, you owe me info on all the other guys! If you’re gonna hog that hottie for yourself, then you better introduce me to some other guys!”

“Ahaha… I’ll do my best…”

Mizuho really is a good kid. If, and only if, I get a chance to talk to a guy other than Masato, I’ll definitely introduce him to Mizuho.

I parted with Mizuho and came to the classroom for second period.

“Huh… Is Masato not here yet?”

Usually, he arrives fifteen minutes before class starts and we meet up, but I haven’t heard from him yet.

“Guess I’ll save him a seat.”

I entered the still-sparse classroom and made my way to the very back. I placed my bag on the seat next to mine to reserve it.

Masato will come here.

Just thinking that makes the corners of my mouth turn up on their own.

“I’ll send him a message.”

I sat down and opened my phone.

We exchanged contact information right away. All I had to do was say I wanted to send him pictures of the class materials and he agreed in a heartbeat. I feel stupid for being even a little nervous.

I wonder if he’d be grossed out if I used hearts… No, it’s Masato. He would never think something like that.

Something I’ve learned from spending a little over a month with Masato at school is that he’s just too nice. I kind of knew it from the beginning, but he’s really too nice. So nice it makes me worry.

And what worries me is that, partly because he’s so nice, his guard is down around girls. In a way that would be completely unthinkable, normally.

I suppose I was able to get close to him because of that, but now that we’re friends and I’m actively pursuing him, I’m quite worried.

The thought of him being tricked by some horrible bitch gives me chills.

(I… I have to protect him…)

So, during our university life, I will protect him.

I’ll stay with him as much as possible. And someday… I want to protect him outside of the university too, you know.

Ping, a notification sounded, and I picked up my phone.

Masato had sent me a sticker of a cartoon cat saying, “Thanks!” Even this part of him is so cute…

It’s okay, I’ll definitely protect you.

About ten minutes after class started, Masato arrived. He came in through the back door and was looking around restlessly. So cute.

I waved my hand so he would notice me. He seemed to spot me and started walking over.

Hmm. His outfit today is cool, too. A bit more sporty than usual. Masato has ridiculously good fashion sense.

“Seriously, thanks a bunch, Koumi.”

“Nishishi… For Masato, something like this is a piece of cake ♪”

Calling each other by our first names, taking classes together.

For me, every day was like a dream. But it’s already been a month since this life began.

Maybe… maybe it’s time to move on to the next stage. That’s what I was thinking.

(Hmm… in that case, maybe I can use this current situation?)

I watched Masato’s profile as he wiped his sweat with a handkerchief and took out his stationery.

I like Masato. But if I confess to him right now, my chances are slim. That’s obvious. We haven’t spent that much time together yet. Masato wouldn’t say yes to a confession from someone he’s only known for a few days.

I absolutely want to make Masato my boyfriend, so failure is not an option. That’s why I can’t confess until I’m certain he won’t turn me down.

Everything requires steps, and what’s necessary now is to become closer. The quickest way to do that is… a date.

I’m going to make my move.

Just as Masato had finally settled in and was ready to listen to the lecture, I tugged on the sleeve of his T-shirt.

“…Hey, since I went to the trouble of saving you a seat, you have to go get lunch with me today.”

…Was that a little too calculated? But if I don’t do at least this much, he won’t even see me that way.

“Ah~… I’m re~ally sorry, I have my part-time job today.”

Ugh… but I expected this. Because he turned me down last Friday, too. If that’s the case, I still have other options.

“Ehh~. Masato, does that mean you’re guaranteed to have work on Fridays?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“I see~ Then how about next Monday!”

“That should be fine, yeah.”

“Yes!”

I got it! A promise for a date!

My emotions overflowed, and I couldn’t help but pump my fist. But it can’t be helped. I’m just so happy!

I immediately began constructing a date plan in my head. On Mondays, we have classes until fourth period, so we should be done around 5 PM.

I’ll make dinner reservations, of course, but what should we do until then? A little shopping near the station? A movie… might not have enough time for that. Karaoke wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

I pictured the facilities at the nearest station and tried to figure out the best way for Masato to have fun. Not a single bit of the lecture was entering my head.

“…Hey.”

“…?”

Just then, Masato started whispering to me.

Oh, crap. I haven’t been listening to the lecture at all. What if he asks me something about it? But then…

“Are you really sure it was okay? You probably wanted to take classes with your friends more than with me, right…?”

“……Hmm? Not at all. I can see my friends at the club and stuff.”

…What does he mean? That’s not true. I want to take classes with Masato. I want to spend time with Masato.

A murky feeling settled in my chest.

And then, he dealt a finishing blow.

“If you want, you can take classes with your friends sometimes. I’m fine on my own, really.”

…Why would you say that?

In an instant, black emotions swirled in my chest.

“Why?”

My voice came out so cold it surprised even me.

“Uh, no, I just thought, you know, maybe Koumi would want to take classes with other people…”

“Do you not like taking classes with me, Masato? Or maybe, do you want to take classes with some other girl?”

This isn’t what I want to say. A wave of black emotion is surging and won’t stop.

“No, no, no! That’s not it at all. I’m seriously grateful, and getting to take classes with a beautiful girl like you, there’s nothing that would make me happier, yep! Besides, I don’t have any friends other than you!”

…B-Beautiful?

Did he just call me beautiful?

“B-Beautiful? You think? So? From your perspective, Masato, am I cute?”

“Y-Yeah. Of course, you’re cute. You can be confident about it, you know?”

Eh, that makes me so happy. Suddenly, my heart felt warm and fuzzy.

“I see~ Ehehe… So I’m cute, huh…”

I never knew being called cute by the person I like could make me so happy. I’m so glad I put so much effort into improving myself.

And then I remember what Mizuho said this morning.

—You know, I think I might actually be smitten.

After third period ended, Masato went home.

I saw him off to the university exit and then headed to my fourth-period class. On the way, I was thinking about what happened during second period.

(I didn’t want to say something like that…)

I didn’t understand it myself.

Just the thought of Masato wanting to see another girl made the dark emotions inside me run wild.

An ugly, jealous feeling.

I think Masato was flustered, too.

Even though Masato never once said he wanted to take classes with another girl.

(Masato is such a good person, and yet I…)

I couldn’t help but hate myself.

But even now, I feel like if Masato were to say he wanted to hang out with another girl, I’d say the same thing again.

I’d think, why isn’t it me?

I fell in love with someone for the first time from the bottom of my heart. Every day is so much fun.

—But I also feel like I can’t control this huge, new emotion.

I have to be careful… If he starts to hate me, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to recover.

Oh, I see. By falling in love, by liking someone, I’ve realized something for the first time.

I—am a jealous woman.