Chapter 3: A Love Too Heavy Can Sometimes Destroy a Person

───● The Tsundere OL Reaffirms Her Feelings ●○●

It was on a certain Thursday.

“I got the afternoon off, which is nice, but…”

I was suddenly told to take the afternoon off. Even if I went straight home, I didn’t have any games I was particularly into lately, and with nothing else to do, I headed to my favorite coffee shop.

I’d been coming to this place on and off since I was a student. It’s in a bit of a tucked-away alley, so it’s never too crowded—my personal hidden gem.

Sipping my straight Darjeeling tea, I fiddled with my phone.

I don’t dislike moments like these, but spending my precious day off at nothing but a coffee shop felt a little lonely.

Ping. A notification sound made me look down at my smartphone again.

Masato:  That’s right, I’m not on the schedule today lol

“…Well, of course…”

It was a long shot, of course. When I was leaving the office, I had texted Masato. On the off chance that he might be at the boy’s bar today. If he had been, I would have happily killed time here and then gone to see him.

As I was sighing, my phone notified me again.

Masato:  If you have time, why don’t you check out the bar? I won’t be there, but… there are a lot of great guys!

…Why would you say that?

I could feel a dark emotion welling up inside me. Masato says things like this so easily. For me, it has to be Masato. I can’t even think about anyone else.

I have to tell him properly. That I don’t have eyes for anyone but you. I really do.

…But, I gave it some thought.

In reality, it’s true that I’ve almost never been served by anyone other than Masato. I know it’s a one-in-a-million, no, one-in-a-hundred-million chance, but maybe there are other guys like Masato out there.

“…I do have the time, so maybe just for a little bit.”

Tilting the last of my tea from its cup, I decided where I would be heading tonight.

8 PM. I took a train in the opposite direction from my workplace for a few stops, arriving at a relatively bustling station. I had decided to go to a boy’s bar, but I decided against going to the usual ‘Festa.’

…A few of the boys there recognize me now, and I felt like it would be wrong if Masato found out I had come on a day other than Friday… No, it’s not wrong at all, but I just didn’t like the idea, so I decided to go to a different place.

My destination was on a street lined with dazzling shops in a corner of the entertainment district.

I went down the stairs and entered through a basement entrance. A blinding neon sign hung above the door.

Phew. I took a breath. I’m used to the bar where Masato works, but that doesn’t mean I’m comfortable in places like this.

Steeling myself, I opened the door to the establishment.

“Welcome.”

Standing at the reception was a woman in a suit.

“It’s my first time here…”

“Yes, thank you for coming. How long would you like to stay?”

I wasn’t planning on staying long, so I told her a short amount of time and was shown to my seat. I was led to a semi-private sofa seat.

Even after sitting down, I still couldn’t relax and was fidgeting when a boy came over.

“Good evening! Here is your highball!”

“Ah, thank you.”

The boy who brought the drink I ordered sat down next to me. As I thought, I’m still not used to having a man sit next to me. It makes me nervous…

The boy was… probably a little younger than me. He was wearing makeup and had blond hair, so he might look younger than he is. In any case, my first impression was that he was flashy.

“Is this your first time here? I’m so happy~! You’re so beautiful, I’m getting nervous~”

“…I see.”

Ah, I knew it.

Something inside me just clicked into place. I feel bad for giving such a curt reply. But, as I thought, it’s just not the same.

“I’d want to date someone as beautiful as you, Seira-san, both inside and out.”

He said it from the heart, nervous but still getting the words out, then smiling bashfully. He’s fundamentally different.

The words coming from the boy in front of me are light, and I can’t possibly believe them. I can tell that he probably says this to everyone.

It’s his job, so that’s probably to be expected. And in reality, there are probably people who are saved by these words. So it’s not like this boy is a bad person at all.

But—

“Ah, it’s been 15 minutes, so I’ll be switching out now~! If you’d like, please request me next time!”

“Yes. Thank you.”

My time was up, and the boy who had been with me went back to the staff area. When I’m with Masato, 15 minutes feels like five seconds, but this 15 minutes felt very long. The boy probably thought I was a boring woman.

As I was quietly sipping my drink, the next boy came over.

“I’m Hiro. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

The new boy had a calmer demeanor. He wasn’t wearing any flashy accessories, and his vibe was more similar to Masato’s than the last boy’s. Not that it made my heart leap or anything. Looking for a substitute would be disrespectful to this person, and to Masato.

The conversation that followed was innocuous.

“It’s amazing that you work in a field like that. I respect you.”

“You think so? Thank you.”

We talked about work. About hobbies. And in the middle of the conversation, he would insert compliments about me. Of course, they were pleasant to hear, but somewhere in my heart, the feeling that he didn’t really mean it took precedence. It’s a bad habit of mine that hasn’t changed since I was a student.

“Thank you very much. We look forward to seeing you again.”

In the end, after being served by just two boys, I left the bar.

The bill came to about 5000 yen. I guess that’s about right.

When I go to see Masato, it’s never less than 10,000 yen, and there are days when I spend around 50,000 without a second thought.

I stretched and glanced at my watch, which told me that not even an hour had passed since I entered the bar.

“…Well, I guess I’m a little relieved.”

The time and money I spent weren’t what I would call fun, but the experience was a great gain. Because, more than anything, it allowed me to reaffirm what’s most important.

“As I thought, the one I want is Masato.”

I put a hand to my chest and thought of him. Just that was enough to make my heart feel like it had been set alight.

As I thought, he and the boys I just met are fundamentally different. It wasn’t just my imagination. He is special, one of a kind, my fated person. Just being able to confirm that made today a good day.

I opened my phone to check my chat with Masato and saw that he had sent a message a few minutes ago. I must have missed it while I was paying the bill.

Masato:  Ah, but please call on me sometimes too! lol

Masato:  If Seira-san stops requesting me, I’ll have no customers left! lol

“…!”

Ah, honestly.

Why does this boy stir my heart so much? I can feel the fire that was lit in my heart burning even hotter, as if someone had just thrown kindling on it.

I want to see him right now and make him understand that he’s the only one. I want to hold him tight. I want to make it so that he can only see me, and so that inside him, there is only me.

“Haaaah…!”

I somehow managed to suppress my surging emotions. I want to see him soon, so soon. I opened the chat window and typed a reply to Masato.

Don’t worry, I won’t request anyone but you.

…Is that a little too direct? He’s a precious person, so I have to choose my words carefully.

I don’t know, if you’re going to go that far, I suppose I could give you a request.

That’s way too condescending. If he starts to hate me for saying something like that, it’s all over. I want to convey my affection, but without being too aggressive.

Don’t worry, I’ll request you. I quite like talking with you, Masato.

Yeah, that should be good. I think I managed to write a message with just the right balance, if I do say so myself.

I pressed send and closed my phone. The night breeze finally started to cool my heated emotions.

“Masato… I’ll make you happy, I promise.”

Imagining my future with Masato, I started my journey home, filled with happiness.