───● The Energetic College Girl Loathes Herself ●○●

I love shopping at outlets and malls.

Partly simply because I like fashion, but even if I don’t buy anything, I just love thinking, I like this one~ or This accessory would look good on her~.

That’s why I often choose shopping for my days off. And I used to think, if—just if—I ever got a boyfriend, looking at clothes together would be so much fun.

“Mizuho, wouldn’t this look good on you? I think it’d match the tops you usually wear.”

“Eh, ehhh~? You think so…?”

Actually going shopping with the person you like like this? The difficulty level is way too high!!

I glanced sideways at Masato, who was choosing clothes with a serious expression, and looked up at the ceiling just a little.

Why did things turn out like this again…?

Summer vacation for university students is very long.

How long? Well, roughly speaking, we have all of August off, and the break lasts until late September.

When I first heard that, I thought, Long break! Yaay!

But it’s been about a month since the three of us went to the beach in August.

My emotions are still a mess, and I haven’t been in the mood to enjoy my vacation at all.

“Haa…”

It was the middle of the night in September. The heat had subsided considerably, and the weather was gradually becoming autumn-like.

Lying on the bed in my room, I continued staring at my smartphone.

“Then, Mizuho… Let’s both become Masato’s girlfriends.”

“Aaaah!! I just don’t know anymore…”

Thump. I rolled over on the bed and spread my arms out wide.

The promise we exchanged that day.

At first glance, it seemed like a totally crazy proposal, but honestly, if you search on the internet, it seems surprisingly common these days.

So that’s how it is, I thought, and for a moment, I swallowed it. But…

“Whether Masato will allow it is a different issue entirely…”

I idly twirled a lock of my semi-long hair, which I usually tie up in twin tails, around my finger.

No matter how excited we get about it, we don’t know if Masato will give us permission.

Honestly, I think Masato’s level is insanely high. Trying to win him over alone felt daunting from the start.

That’s why, at the time, I thought that if I was with Koumi, there might be a “one-chance” possibility.

But if Masato says, “That’s a bit…” then it’s all over.

And if that happens, Masato surely wouldn’t stay with us anymore…

Masato is a good person, so choosing one of us over the other seems like it would be hard for him, too…

“Haa…”

Nothing but sighs come out.

I rolled onto my side and looked at the photo of Masato, Koumi, and me stored on my phone. A photo taken on the way back from our trip. Masato in the middle, with Koumi and me smiling on either side.

Back then, of course, I thought, If I’m with Koumi… But am I really okay with that?

…Suddenly, I remembered the first time I went to the boy’s bar where Masato works.

“Can you keep this a secret from Koumi?”

When asked not to tell Koumi that he was working at a bar… the true identity of that mysterious excitement I felt back then was—

“Eh…”

It was just then.

Piron. My smartphone notification chimed.

Surprised by the name displayed at the top of the screen, I sprang up from my lying position and sat up straight.

I opened the SNS app, long-pressing carefully so as not to mark it as read, and read the message.

[Katasato Masato]: Mizuho, are you free sometime this week?

[Katasato Masato]: I have absolutely no autumn clothes, so I want to go buy some~

“…!”

I could feel my body getting hot.

Just getting invited out makes me this happy. Ah, I really do love Masato, I realized.

“Eh, wait, what should I do? We haven’t met recently…”

Even though I wasn’t meeting him right this second, I laughed at how ridiculous I looked, naturally combing my hair with my fingers.

What do I do?! I’m panicking so hard!!

“R-right, at times like this, send an SOS!”

I searched for the name [Koumi] on the same SNS screen and was about to press the call button—when I stopped.

A slight hesitation was born. But I shook my head violently to shake it off. That’s absolutely no good. After all, Koumi liked him first, and she forgave me for falling in love with him later. Trying to get a head start at this stage is absolutely forbidden.

I pressed the call button. The melody rang for a moment.

“Hello?”

“Ah, hello? Sorry for calling so late at night!”

“Mmm, it’s fine. What’s up?”

“U-um, well…”

Choosing my words carefully, I explained that Masato had invited me on a date.

Speaking too happily about it would be rude to Koumi…

“S-so jealous… Eh, why isn’t it me, Masato?!”

“Ah, ahaha… You went out with him before, right Koumi? Maybe he was being considerate…”

Since going to the beach, I hadn’t met Masato because I couldn’t sort out my feelings, but Koumi apparently had met him a few times.

I really want to learn from Koumi’s assertiveness…

“Ehh—but that’s great! You should go to the outlet or something!”

“Ah—that might work! There was that one place I went with you before, right?”

“The one near Kaihin Park, right! …If you’re buying clothes, are you going by car?”

“Ah… I hadn’t thought about that at all.”

“Why not go by car since you can? Nice~ a drive date.”

I got my license together with a friend right after high school entrance exams finished, so I can drive.

A car… well… a rental car would be fine… But…

“B-but isn’t a drive date pretty high level…?”

“What are you saying! You’re the one who said it, Mizuho! “A license is essential to catch a good man ZE☆”!”

“Uwaaah! I was a real idiot back theeen!”

I was invincible back then in many ways… A high school girl…

While I was thinking about the date with Masato, Koumi said something unexpected.

“Besides, look… if you go by car… there might be a “one-chance” on the way back…”

“…W-w-w-w-what is this ‘one-chance’ you speak of???”

“Don’t play innocent…”

“I have no idea what you mean—”

S-surely it won’t turn into a development like that… right?

And so, here we are.

End of flashback!

“…? What’s wrong, Mizuho?”

“Eh?! No, it is nothing, I say?!”

Close, close. This isn’t the time to be immersed in flashbacks.

I pulled myself together and looked at Masato, who was seriously choosing clothes next to me.

He really is cool.

“Let’s both become Masato’s girlfriends.”

“Tch…!”

No, no. I shouldn’t think about that right now.

Masato went out of his way to invite me, so I have to enjoy this date today!

I asked Masato, who was intently picking out clothes, something that had been on my mind.

“Hey, um, Masato… why did you invite me?”

“Eh? Well, why…?”

At this moment, I had forgotten. I had forgotten what kind of boy Masato was.

“Because out of everyone I know, Mizuho has the best fashion sense?”

“Ug… N-no~ no, no, well that is a happy assessment! Thinking such things, you rascal~”

“Ah, hey, let me hang up the clothes for a sec!”

Embarrassed, I inadvertently poked him with my elbow so he wouldn’t see my expression.

Why does he always say the words I want to hear?

Having a good fashion sense. Of course, the words themselves are happy, but more than anything, it means he’s usually watching me.

“Look, how about this? I think this kind of thing would suit you, Mizuho.”

What Masato showed me was a maroon, slightly short culotte skirt.

A thin black belt gave it a mature vibe amidst the casual style.

Honestly speaking, I loved it.

More than anything, because Masato chose it.

“Eh, it’s super good! I’ll buy it!”

Immediate decision! Strike while the iron is hot!

“Wait wait wait! Surely you should try it on first?!”

“Ah, true.”

Size-wise it looks fine but… just to confirm.

Then Masato called out to a shop assistant passing by.

“Ah, excuse me, where is the fitting room?”

“Eh… Ah, ah, right this way!”

The clerk seemed taken aback for a moment before guiding us to the fitting room. Well, it is rare to see a man in a place like this. And such a handsome one at that!

I feel a little bit proud.

“It will be right here.”

“Thank you very much. Ah, then Mizuho, I’ll hold your bag.”

“Thanks~! Await my return!“

This kind of consideration is so like Masato; it makes me happy.

Leaving my bag with Masato, I entered the fitting room.

Now then, I’m keeping Masato waiting, so I should try this on quick—

“Um, are you her boyfriend?”

Freeze. My hand stopped.

It seems the clerk from earlier called out to Masato.

Well, well, Masato is handsome after all. I’ll forgive a little curiosity.

“Ah, no! We’re friends.”

Zukiri. My chest hurt.

—I know.

Masato and I are, strictly speaking, friends. So why does my chest hurt so much?

“Eh, is that so! I’m sorry, I just assumed…”

“No, no. It’s fine.”

“Eh, then… do you have a girlfriend, or…”

“Um, I don’t, but…”

…Wait, wait, wait? Isn’t the mood getting suspicious?

“Ehh—! Even though you’re so handsome… U-um, if you don’t mind, could I have your contact info…”

Hey youuuu! Don’t you dare hit on him while a person is changing!

“Masatoooo—!?”

“Uwah! You scared me, what?!”

“This looks suuuuper good!”

“Then could you at least show me first?!”

Exploding out with a rapid-change technique, I threw open the curtain.

“Oh—! It really suits you!”

“Heheh. Right, right? Alright, I’ve decided on this one. Miss Clerk, could you ring this up?”

“Ah, yes…”

So that Masato wouldn’t notice, I urged the clerk to the register with a smile (full of meaning).

On the way home.

Having left the shopping mall, we were retracing our path by car.

“Man~ I ended up buying a lot! Thanks, Masato!”

“No, no, thank you for even driving us.”

It had been a while since I drove, but just having Masato next to me meant I didn’t feel a hint of boredom or pain.

Just talking is fun; it really is the best.

…That’s exactly why I remember it.

“Ah, no! We’re friends.”

My hands gripping the steering wheel tightened just a little.

—I am not Masato’s girlfriend.

Then, what if Koumi and I both became his girlfriends? Would I be able to puff out my chest and say “I am his girlfriend” then?

Even if I could say it, with such a cute girl next to him, could I insist that I am his number one?

“Right turn in 2 km.”

“It says turn right next—you should probably get in the right lane soon… Mizuho?”

“Ah, ahh! Yeah, that’s right.”

If I turn right at this main street, it’s almost time to say goodbye. This dream time will end.

I have to get in the right lane, but my heart is screaming No.

I want to just go somewhere like this.

Just the two of us, Masato and me, going to some unknown place.

Just the two of us… swearing our love.

I can feel dark feelings spreading slowly in my chest.

That uncontrollable desire I felt that night, to keep this person all to myself.

If I just go straight here… there are places to rest.

“H-hey… Masato, um…”

“Man~ that was fun~ inviting you was definitely the right call, Mizuho! I bought cool new clothes~ and you even saved me when that clerk got tangled up with me, right?”

The bustle outside lay heavy in the momentary silence of the car.

“…A-ahaha! Busted? While I draw breath, I shall not let anyone lay a hand on Masato~! Just kidding!”

…Quietly, I turned on the right turn signal.

Lying that I won’t let anyone lay a hand on him.

Even though I’ve already crossed the line I shouldn’t cross a long time ago.

Thinking “I want him all to myself” while sitting next to the boy I love so much.

I’m hopelessly the worst.

[ Case: Igarashi Koumi ]

< Koumi

20:16
(Koumi): I heard the news! They said you went shopping with Mizuho!
(Koumi): I think Masato should go out with me too~!
(Koumi): So with that in mind, are you free next Saturday or something?

21:23
(Masato): Of course I’d love to, but I’ve actually got plans for next Saturday.

21:35
(Koumi): Ehh~ Where are you going?

21:56
(Masato): To the culture festival for the kid I tutor.
(Masato): I’m planning to head out to Senkawa Station.

22:03
(Koumi): A high school… in Senkawa…?
(Koumi): By any chance, is the name of that place Senkawa High School?

22:12
(Masato): Oh, yes, that’s it! You know it well!

22:15
(Koumi): No, I mean, that’s my old school!

22:16
(Masato): Eeh?!