5
…Ugh, my head really hurts.
The sunlight streaming through the window forced me awake. A dull throb pulsed in my head, but I managed to ignore it and sit up.
“Ugh…”
…And I feel so sick.
A wave of nausea rose in my throat. I pressed a hand to my chest, holding my breath as if to force it back down. My forehead felt hot, and there was an indescribable, unpleasant sensation in the back of my throat.
And worst of all…
…Aaargh. I just want to forget.
An overwhelming, directionless shame dominated my entire body. As hazy memories of last night returned, I was overcome with the sudden urge to die.
Why was I so aggressive last night? Why did I try to get so close to Aldia?
I gripped the bedsheets tightly and curled into a ball.
“If you don’t call me Rita… I won’t let go…”
“I’m such an idiot!”
Tormented by the humiliation, I slammed my head hard against the wall.
“This is the worst… What was I doing…?”
A sharp pain throbbed in my forehead. But that trivial pain was nothing compared to my desperate need to forget yesterday’s shameful display.
“I wasn’t myself… Why did I do that?”
A tragedy brought on by being black-out drunk.
I knew exactly how weak I am to alcohol; I never even intended to drink in the first place. Just a light conversation with him. That’s all it was supposed to be. But I got carried away by the situation—just the two of us—and I was so flustered that I used the alcohol to cover it up, my hand just reaching for it naturally.
“Can I… call you ‘Al,’ too…?”
“Aaargh, enough!”
I slammed my head against the wall again. I couldn’t even tell if my headache was from hitting the wall or if I was still drunk.
“…The worst. I want to die.”
This would never happen normally. It was a weakness that only seemed to activate when I was with him. I was trying to act so calm, but now he knows exactly how flustered I was.
“Haaa… what am I going to do?”
Sir Aldia must be so disappointed in me. He definitely remembers everything.
I’d never said such forward, thoughtless things to him before.
If I run into him… I’ll die. I’ll die of embarrassment!
Just as I was agonizing, one of my subordinates from the Provisional Elite Corps came to my door.
“General Ritziareite? Sorry to bother you so early. May I come in?”
The door was unlocked, so I answered in my usual, calm voice. “Enter.”
The door opened, and the soldier’s face went blank. The bundle of documents she was holding slipped from her hands and scattered on the floor.
“General Ritziareite… you look awful! Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. What is your report?”
“The report can wait! More importantly, if you’re unwell, you must rest today!”
She rushed over with a worried expression and placed a hand on my forehead.
“See? You have a fever!”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s just a hangover.”
“Huh? But General, I thought you skipped the victory party yesterday…”
“A-Actually, I was there.”
“No way! I was looking all over for you, General, but I couldn’t find you anywhere!”
“O-Oh. Perhaps because I was drinking in a quiet spot… My apologies.”
That was a careless thing to say.
The soldiers in the Provisional Elite Corps don’t know I was drinking alone with Aldia. What would happen if they found out? Would they ask me about our relationship?
No. Impossible!
To me, he is the Princess’s personal knight, someone I respect. We have no special relationship beyond that. I know my place. I won’t let personal feelings get in the way. I can’t.
The instant I tried to categorize my relationship with him in my mind, the blinding headache returned.
“Ugh… ow…”
The splitting pain made my composed expression crumble.
“The party doesn’t matter! I was here to consult you about the new recruit drills, but please, just rest today!”
“No, this is fine. I don’t have time to rest… Ugh.”
“Aah, you mustn’t push yourself! If you were to collapse, it would be a huge loss for the Empire! We’ll split the work and handle things, so please, stay in bed until you’re better.”
She said this, gently pulling the blanket over me, but I had no intention of resting.
“I can’t possibly…!”
“No. You need to lie down.”
“B-But…”
“It’ll be fine! We can manage for a day or two without you, General.”
Overwhelmed by her insistence, I stopped arguing. This brisk, caring subordinate of mine suddenly seemed so reliable. I found myself unconsciously thinking, ‘Maybe I can leave it to her.’
“Very well. I’ll accept your offer, then.”
“Yes! Leave it to us!”
Full of motivation, she gave me a cute salute. Caught up in her relaxed manner, the tension drained from my body, perhaps in relief.
…At least, it looks like I won’t have to face him today.
My condition couldn’t be worse, but for now, I’ll be grateful for this illness. If I had to see him right now, I would definitely die of mortification from remembering last night. Without bothering to fix my messy brown hair, I closed my eyes.
“Absolute bed rest today, okay? Got it?”
“Yes. Then, I’m sorry, but I’m leaving the Provisional Elite Corps in your hands.”
“Okay! See you later!~”
“…”
With a little wave, my subordinate left the room. Her last reply was so… casual, it made me a little anxious.
“…Was it a mistake to leave her in charge?”
But even if I regretted it, she was already gone. Trusting that she’d manage somehow, I buried the lower half of my face in the blanket.
“…Right. So, today is a day off.”
As I mumbled the words, I realized just how hard I’d been working lately. Lady Valtrune had entrusted me to lead the Provisional Elite Corps, and I had pushed myself harder than ever to meet her expectations. On top of my training as a dragon soldier, I studied military command, and we managed to succeed in our first battle. Compared to my time in the regular Imperial Army, both my workload and my authority had grown. I felt like my days had been… fulfilling.
“…A day off. What am I supposed to do?”
I’d never just stayed in my room before, so I had no idea how to spend the time. Pleasant sunlight poured in through the window, and time just… flowed slowly by. I was so used to my hectic, non-stop days that this time—with nothing to do—felt, conversely, uncomfortable.
“Maybe I should just go to work this afternoon… No, but I can’t just throw her consideration back in her face…”
Torn between ‘I’m sick’ and ‘I have to work,’ I spent the day in bed, trapped in conflict.
6
With the Provisional Elite Corps’ victory over Marquis Rigel, the voices supporting Princess Valtrune as the next Empress had grown stronger.
We still had to be wary of the anti-Princess faction, but thanks to our military achievements, the strengthening of the Provisional Elite Corps was proceeding steadily. Furthermore, now that the corps was officially recognized, we could deploy our forces without interference from opposing factions within the Empire.
Our position was rock-solid.
I was sure Princess Valtrune would be in a wonderful mood… or so I thought.
“Um, Your Highness…”
“What is it?”
“…No, it’s nothing.”
“I see.”
A deep wrinkle was etched between Princess Valtrune’s brows, and a heavy atmosphere filled the office.
The mood in here is awful.
I wracked my brain, but I couldn’t think of anything I’d done. But I was positive her bad mood had something to do with me. Why? Because…
“Your Highness, I’ve finished the report.”
“Thank you. Your work is so fast, it’s a huge help.”
“I-I’ll continue to do my best!”
“Yes. I’m counting on you.”
…because she was responding to her other subordinates with a beaming smile. In contrast, the moment I tried to speak, she practically radiated displeasure.
“Um, Your Highness.”
“…”
Now she wasn’t even replying.
“Look, if I’ve displeased you in some way, please just tell me.”
“You really have no idea?”
“I’m asking because I don’t know.”
“Hmph. I see.”
She just looked… pouty.
I was trying to figure out how to handle this when she suddenly stood right in front of me.
“…Ghh!?”
Wh-What, all of a sudden?
After a moment of silence, she suddenly grabbed the collar of my tunic. It was so abrupt I was just confused, but her fierce gaze stopped me from speaking.
“Aldia. I’m just going to ask. …Did something happen with Ritziareite?”
“Wh-What do you mean…?”
“It’s useless to play dumb. I know you and Ritziareite snuck out of the victory party and disappeared into the city.”
“Where did you get that information…!”
“Fadi.”
“I had no idea we were being watched…”
I never thought Fadi would have seen us. I thought we’d slipped out unnoticed. But that’s not important right now.
“S-So… why am I in trouble?”
“After all that, you still don’t get it?”
Honestly, I couldn’t understand what I’d done wrong or why she was angry. All I did was deepen my bond with Ritziareite, a reliable colleague. I hadn’t done anything that should have earned Princess Valtrune’s displeasure.
But she clearly didn’t like my answer, and her aura became even pricklier.
“You are my personal knight. Are you even aware of that?”
“O-Of course!”
“Then being alone with another woman is unforgivable.”
“Um… why is that?”
“Why… after everything I’ve said… why don’t you understand?“
She looked at me in disbelief and let out a huge sigh.
“Listen. In the previous timeline, Ritziareite had zero romantic entanglements. Do you understand what that means?”
A bead of sweat ran down my forehead under her intense stare.
“In her past life, she had no interest in men and dedicated herself to her duties as my knight. But what about this version of her? She’s still serious, but there’s one obvious difference. She has no problem being alone with you. Doesn’t that mean she’s, at the very least, interested in you!?”
She put her hands on her hips, her translucent white hair shaking as she burst with emotion.
“It’s a misunderstanding! You must be mistaken!”
“I don’t think I am.”
Saying Ritziareite is interested in me seems like a pretty wild leap in logic.
“Your Highness. With all due respect, there is nothing more than a professional relationship between us. Therefore, I assure you it will never interfere with my duties as your knight…!”
“That’s not the problem, you idiot.”
“…Huh?”
The murmur was so quiet it almost disappeared, and the words died in my throat.
Princess Valtrune let go of my collar, her expression tense as she dropped her gaze.
“Listen, Aldia. You are my knight. Ritziareite may be a wonderful woman, but I won’t allow you to become any closer to her than necessary.”
She said it all in a rush, then took a deep breath.
“S-So, just… r-refrain from any careless actions. See, if strange rumors start circulating about my personal knight, it reflects badly on me!”
With those words, I understood completely.
“I… I see. I apologize. You were thinking that far ahead, while I was being completely thoughtless.”
She was absolutely right. My behavior must never be allowed to damage Princess Valtrune’s dignity. If people started whispering, ‘The Princess keeps a knight who’s careless with women,’ it could jeopardize her very ambition to become Empress.
She was warning me because she feared that outcome.
“I will ensure this never happens again.”
“W-Well, as long as you understand. Yes.”
Her anger at my thoughtlessness seemed to have subsided. She still had her arms crossed in a pout, but her tone had softened.
7
After my reconciliation with Princess Valtrune, the usual, calm atmosphere returned to the office.
We both focused on our documents, our pens flying across the paper.
“Your Highness. Please review this.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
It was a space that existed with only the bare minimum of conversation. But it wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable. The only sounds from beside me were the rustle of paper and the scratching of a pen.
It was a simple space, but considering the turbulent days that lay ahead, this time spent doing paperwork with her was peaceful.
I glanced over at Princess Valtrune. She was picturesque, just tucking her long white hair behind her ear, her serious gaze fixed on the document. She efficiently sorted the papers and pushed one stack toward me.
“Aldia. Please correct these as well.”
“Understood. I’ll have them done by noon.”
“Yeah. It might be a bit much, but please.”
“Yes.”
I took the stack and resumed my work. This quiet time would probably just flow on endlessly until sunset.
Just as I thought that, I heard footsteps approaching the office door.
“Excuse me. Sir Aldia, do you have a moment?”
It was a soldier from the Provisional Elite Corps. He must have been rushing; his forehead was glistening with sweat. I immediately looked his way.
“I’ll be right with you, as soon as I finish this document. Please wait just a moment.”
“Sorry to interrupt. I’ll be waiting at the Provisional Elite Corps headquarters.”
The door clicked shut, and silence fell on the room once more.
“My apologies, Your Highness. I have to step out for a bit.”
I stopped what I was doing and notified her.
“Yes… I see.”
Her voice sounded just a little bit lonely.
I felt a pang of reluctance, but I gave a small nod and headed for the door. Just as I reached for the handle, I heard a chair scrape behind me.
“Wait.”
I turned, and her face was right in front of mine.
“There was… something else I needed to talk to you about.”
This probably isn’t about work. It’s about us.
Her gaze was endlessly deep, sparkling like a blue gem.
“Come back here a moment.”
She grabbed my arm and, doing as I was told, I moved away from the door. Her hand was so slender and pale, and her light pink, well-manicured nails drew my eyes to her fingertips.
“Um, Your Highness. What did you want to talk about?”
“W-Well… Ahem!“
She cleared her throat to cover her hesitation, then looked at me with a determined, serious expression.
“…Um. I went a little too far, earlier. I knew you didn’t mean any harm, but I interrogated you anyway. So… I’m sorry.”
She gave a quick bow, then squeezed my hand tightly, her ears turning slightly red.
“But… it’s just that I felt like someone might take you away from me… and… I was insecure.”
“Insecure… Then it’s my failing again.”
“No. This is my problem. It’s just my selfish desire to remain the most important person to you.”
“That wasn’t selfish at all.”
I am Princess Valtrune’s personal knight. The moment I made her feel insecure, the fault became entirely mine.
“Your Highness. Then, what can I do to reassure you?”
“Huh?”
“My actions made you insecure. This will probably happen again. So please, tell me. What can I do to set your mind at ease?”
I’m not a perfect person. I’ll make mistakes and cause these misunderstandings again. For someone as flawed as me, the least I can do is ease the anxiety in her heart.
“Anything at all. Whatever you request, Your Highness, I promise I will fulfill it.”
“Anything? Really?”
“My life is yours. Please, command me.”
She looked down, thinking, then glanced up at me hesitantly.
“Th-Then… um. Just one thing?”
“Of course.”
“Then I won’t hold back… Aldia. No, Al. From now on, let’s call each other by nicknames!”
“N-Nicknames…?”
My voice cracked as I repeated the word. I was expecting some kind of strict order, a new rule for me as her knight. I’d been so braced for something serious that my mind went blank, and I couldn’t form a reply.
“…Th-That is your wish, Your Highness?”
“It is. A Princess and her knight are two parts of a whole, aren’t they? I want to close the distance between us. …Is that… wrong?”
“No. It’s not wrong, but, well…”
I blinked once, then took a deep breath to reset myself.
…That was close. What am I thinking? Getting lost in her hesitant expression… if she knew, she’d surely think me disrespectful.
“Al?”
“Ah…”
She stroked the back of my hand, a gentle smile on her face.
“I will call you ‘Al.’ And in return, you will call me ‘Rune.’ Don’t be shy.”
“…I-I understand.”
I’ve been completely flustered this whole time. And, as if sensing my panic, she smiled, hiding her mouth playfully with her hand.
I really feel like I’ve been had.
I have a feeling I’m going to be wrapped around Princess Valtrune’s little finger for a long, long time. Regardless of our positions as Princess and knight, I’m just no match for her.
“Go on, Al. Try calling me ‘Rune.'”
“R-Rune… -sama.”
“Fufu. That’s right. Please call me that from now on.”
My face burned with embarrassment, but… at least her mood had improved. After enjoying her laugh, she gave my back a light pat, a gesture to send me on my way.
“Work hard.”
“Yes.”
With her small wave behind me, I quickly left the office.
Her blindingly bright smile kept replaying in my mind.
…What’s gotten into me?
“My face is hot…”
When I’m with Princess Valtrune, my heart races. It’s an exhilaration almost like facing an overwhelming enemy on the battlefield.
But… no, it’s different. It’s not the uncomfortable, stinging tension of a fight. Instead, it’s a warm feeling. Almost… reassuring.
I don’t know what this feeling is right now, but I wonder if a day will come when I finally understand it.
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