Chapter 32 TUS Vol. 3 Prologue

Prologue – The Girl Selling Underwear

—Mornings at the magic academy start early.

I bought my usual sandwich for lunch at the usual shop on my way to the academy. And, just like any other day, I was cutting through the academy courtyard on my way to the main building. That’s when I tilted my head in confusion. “Huh?”

“It’s awfully noisy today.”

It just seemed like there were way too many people in the courtyard compared to usual. No, ‘seemed’ wasn’t right. There were definitely more people. An abnormal amount, even.

This place is usually just a stone-paved path cutting through a grassy lawn, but today, it was completely packed.

Hmm… The grassy areas looked just like a flea market. Or rather, that’s exactly what it was: straw mats laid out everywhere, covered in merchandise. Seeing the state of the courtyard, I gave a small nod of understanding.

“Oh, right. Today must be the ‘Surplus Market’ day.”

It was an event they had at the magic academy back in my day, too. If I remember right, it’s where poorer students buy and sell grimoires among themselves. Of course, since it’s not a for-profit business, you can usually get used books for cheaper than the going rate.

And for the sellers, it’s a good deal because they can get more money than they would by selling to a secondhand shop. It’s pretty much a win-win event for everyone.

That said, if both parties don’t know the market rates, it’s pretty common for one side—buyer or seller—to get ripped off. But since it’s just students trading among themselves, everyone’s supposed to use fair pricing. Even if disagreements pop up later, they rarely turn into serious problems.

I mean, fighting over money on academy grounds is just a hassle, you know? It gets complicated. So, even if a price is unfairly high or low, it usually just gets settled later with a quiet exchange of money between the students involved.

Everyone knows this is the deal going in, so it’s a low-stress way to trade.

Personally, I remember this market being a huge help to me back in my previous life, since I was a struggling student.

I was the eighth son of a poor noble family, and I was pretty desperate for… well, everything, back then. A wave of nostalgia washed over me.

I think it’s a great event, so it only felt natural to be happy that the tradition was still alive. Besides, it wasn’t just books. People sold old clothes and various knick-knacks, too. It really was a flea market in every sense of the word.

Sometimes, a kid from a well-to-do noble family would even bring antiques from their family’s storehouse. You could occasionally find some real hidden gems… or not.

Anyway, feeling nostalgic, I decided to take a stroll through the bustling courtyard.

Hmm… I mused, walking along and browsing the goods laid out on the mats.

As far as used books went, it was mostly just elementary-level grimoires. Nothing new or exciting. Not that I expected anything else. Still, just walking around and browsing made me feel kind of excited. It reminded me of being back in Japan—strolling through summer festivals, or actual flea markets, was always fun, even if you were just looking.

Oh, I spotted a cute necklace and bracelet. Maybe I’ll buy them as souvenirs for Anastasia and Maria. They both worked so hard during the training camp… Yeah, they deserve a little reward.

So, I continued walking through the market, until I reached one particular corner—and froze, utterly speechless.

Because, in that spot—

—someone was selling little girl’s panties.

Well, not just underwear. It looked more like they’d just grabbed everything in their room and dumped it here to sell. I mean, I guess you could technically classify little girl’s underwear as used clothing, but still…

Anyway, there were plenty of other strange things about this stall besides the underwear. The shopkeeper—a kid sitting in the middle of the mat—was… well, first off, her age was all wrong.

She was a girl who looked to be about ten years old, and her outfit was a little… odd. She wore an all-white robe, kind of like a white mage’s. It had a white hood with what looked like cat ears, and she had… light blue hair, probably shoulder-length. The cat-ear hood was the part I found strangest. Her face… well, she had sleepy-looking eyes, but her features were sharp. She was actually quite cute. But why was a kid this young participating in the flea market like it was totally normal? And selling underwear, no less. Besides, the academy grounds are supposed to be off-limits to non-affiliated personnel…

Then I noticed that on the mat, next to the merchandise and price tags, there was a piece of paper with something written on it.

The words written on it were—

“Will sell anything but my body. Freshly-worn underwear also available.”

My head started to spin. I mean, seriously, who would buy something like that in a place like this?

Just as I was thinking that, feeling completely drained, a skinheaded student walked up to the stall. He had a pretty intimidating face. He stared intently at the light-blue-haired girl and asked:

“Are they really freshly worn? How much?”

Someone’s actually trying to buy them?!

I almost fell over right then and there.

“…Of course they’re freshly worn. I heard from an expert in the field that it significantly increases their value. The price is twenty gold coins.”

I was very curious about this “expert in the field,” but I’ll set that aside for now.

Twenty gold coins, though… That’s an incredibly bold asking price.

Unsurprisingly, gold is rare in this world, too. Twenty gold coins would be roughly equivalent to two million yen.

“Haha, don’t be ridiculous, kid. That’s way too much of a rip-off. How about one silver coin?”

One silver coin. That’s about ten thousand yen. Willing to pay that much for used underwear… My goodness, this guy is a true connoisseur, apparently.

“…I don’t do discounts.”

“Then how about two silver coins!”

“…Twenty gold coins. I have no intention of lowering the price.”

“I said don’t be ridiculous! Five silver coins!”

“…No.”

“Fine, one gold coin! That’s my final offer! I can’t bleed myself dry!”

“…No. Twenty gold coins. I have no intention of selling for less.”

Her replies were listless, her eyes still looked vaguely sleepy.

It wasn’t that she was unfriendly, just… what’s the word… she seemed like someone with low blood pressure who’d just woken up.

At that point, the skinheaded man raised his voice.

“Cut the crap! I offered one gold coin!”

“…And I’ve told you many times. I am not selling for less.”

“You’ve got some nerve! You’re trying to rip me off, knowing I’m the eldest son of an Earl!?”

It’s not about being ripped off… The crazy part is him trying to buy it in the first place.

The skinhead glared at the girl, his voice growing rough as he tried to intimidate her.

“One gold coin! Stop messing around!”

“…I refuse.”

“That’s enough out of you! Don’t think you can act all high and mighty just because you’re a little cute!”

The man was clearly getting irritated. It looked like a fight was about to break out, over an appallingly stupid reason, but still… I sighed. It seemed I had no choice, so I stepped in between them.

“Excuse me,” I said. “This is my little sister… she loves to play pranks, and it looks like this one went a little too far.”

I tried to make eye contact with the light-blue-haired girl, signaling Play along, but she gave no reaction. Then again, she didn’t seem inclined to stop me, either. In that case, I’d just proceed as planned.

“A joke?!”

“Huh? You were just joking about buying them, too, right?”

“…Huh?”

“Something this ridiculous couldn’t possibly be happening on academy grounds, could it? If you were serious, it would be a huge incident if Headmaster Merlin found out. Surely you weren’t serious about buying them… right?”

My words seemed to snap him back to reality. The color drained from his face.

I mean, common sense dictates you can’t sell that kind of stuff at a flea market, and you definitely can’t buy it.

“Ah, right… Of course. I was just joking, too. Sorry, I guess I got a little too carried away.”

And with that, the guy left. I turned to the light-blue-haired girl.

“You’re going to attract weirdos selling stuff like that, you know.”

“…I sell what sells. I need money.”

Another listless reply. Her eyes were still half-lidded.

“…Besides, I don’t mind attracting ‘weirdos’ if it means making money. Which means you just chased away my customer.”

“He wasn’t a ‘customer.’ No one was ever going to pay twenty gold coins for that.”

“…The probability may have been astronomical, but it wasn’t zero. Therefore, you interfered.”

The light-blue-haired girl’s mouth formed a pout, clearly displeased.

“Anyway, kids aren’t supposed to be at the magic academy in the first place. It’s off-limits to unauthorized personnel.”

“…I know that.”

“And… on a more fundamental level, I really don’t think you should be selling underwear. That’s just… not something you should be doing.”

“…I need money. And as you saw with that skinhead, there is demand. In any case, if you’re not buying… if you’re not a customer… then please leave me alone. I have reasons I need to earn money, even if I have to risk my life for it. So I have no choice but to sell whatever I can.”

Her face was blank, but her voice was dead serious. Well, her voice was monotone, making it hard to read her emotions, but I could still tell she was being serious.

What a mess… I shrugged. It seemed this ‘business’ of hers was what she’d come up with out of some unavoidable, desperate circumstance.

“No, but I still think selling your underwear is the wrong way to go.”

“…I haven’t sold a single pair anyway. Not… one. I set the price high hoping for a lucky break. It’s basically a lottery ticket.”

“Yeah, but still…”

“…You’re noisy. I’m going to get angry.”

The girl shot me a sharp glare. Well, I say ‘glare,’ but her face was still blank. And she just muttered in that same flat tone, so it was hard to catch any emotional nuance unless you listened very carefully.

“But there’s still a line between what’s acceptable and what’s not…”

“…I told you, I need money. If you want me to stop, then you should give me the money. If you’re not going to, then you have no right to interfere.”

I mean… I could see her point. It was sound logic.

This kid clearly had her own circumstances, and I was thinking the smart thing to do was to stop getting involved. Just then, a crow swooped down from the sky and landed in front of her.

No, wait, that wasn’t a crow. I felt a faint chill. It was a familiar, controlled by what I’d broadly call ice-based magic. Its true form was probably just ice.

The girl took the letter from the crow’s beak and started reading. She soon nodded, seemingly in relief. Then, at lightning speed, she stuffed the underwear-for-sale into her robe and started packing up the rest of her merchandise.

“Why are you packing up all of a sudden?”

“…It seems the money has been arranged. I no longer need to sell myself.”

“Well, that’s good to hear.”

I meant that from the bottom of my heart. A kid selling her own underwear… It’s just a sign of the end times.

So, she quickly started packing up her things, when suddenly—

Grroowwwwwwl. Her stomach rumbled. Loudly. Apparently, she was hungry. And then, she started sniffing the air. Sniff, sniff.

“…I smell food.”

Sniff, sniff, sniff-sniff-sniff.

She sniffed like a dog, sniffing and sniffing, trying to locate the source. And then, her sleepy gaze landed on me—no, to be precise, it landed on the small parcel in my hand that contained my sandwich. Actually, she was staring intently at it.

“…”

“…”

Her face was blank, so I had no idea what she was thinking.

To confirm her intentions, I lifted the sandwich parcel up high, like I was playing ‘airplane’ with it. Her head tilted up, her gaze definitely tracking the parcel.

I moved the parcel to the right. Her gaze followed it. I moved it to the left. Her gaze followed. Right, left, right, left. Her gaze went right, left, right, left. Then, I tried twirling the parcel in a figure-eight pattern in the air. She immediately started moving her head in a matching figure-eight.

…Uh oh. This was starting to get a little fun.

My mischievous side lit up. I started twirling it at super-high speed, and she began to whip her head back and forth at a furious pace—entering a full-on headbanging state, like at a death metal concert.

After a few moments of this, her expression—or lack thereof—visibly turned pale.

“What’s wrong?”

“…Dizzy.”

Looked like she’d gotten motion sickness.

Still wearing that blank expression, she flopped down limply onto her mat.

Yep, that settles it. I’d suspected it from the moment I saw her, but this kid was definitely an oddball.

Convinced of this, I spoke to her.

“Sorry, I guess I went a little overboard.”

I sat down next to her limp form and pulled an orange juice out of my bag.

“You should drink this when you feel a bit better.”

“…Mm.”

After waiting a few seconds… she sat up and immediately started drinking the orange juice.

“How are you feeling?”

“…Delicious. Feeling tip-top.”

Since she seemed to be okay, I took out one of the two sandwiches I’d bought and handed it to her.

“If you don’t mind it being my lunch, go ahead and eat. You’re hungry, right?”

“…Mm.”

And with that, she began to wolf down the sandwich. She ate with such ferocious speed, I was worried she might choke.

“You’re really packing that away.”

“…It’s very delicious.”

“You’re the first person I’ve ever met who can seem to be enjoying something so much, yet remain completely expressionless.”

I said with a dry smile. She, of course, replied without expression.

“…I haven’t eaten in a week.”

“What? Why? Aren’t your parents feeding you?”

“…I don’t live with my parents. But my food, clothing, and shelter are currently secured.”

“So you’re not struggling for food? Then why haven’t you eaten in a week?”

“…Because I’m a shut-in. And the food in my room ran out a week ago. The only reason a shut-in like me came outside today… was because I absolutely needed to get a large sum of money.”

It was weirdly difficult to hold a conversation with her. It wasn’t that she was dim-witted; she just seemed to be missing… words. Or rather, based on what she was saying… I was getting a sense of unimaginably troublesome vibes from her.

Just then, I noticed she was still staring at my bag with a wanting look…

“You can just have the rest.”

She seemed unbelievably hungry, so I handed her the whole bag.

“…What about your lunch?”

“The sign-up for cafeteria lunch ended yesterday evening, so I’m out of luck. Eh, it’s no big deal. I can skip one meal.”

She nodded slightly and said,

“…A god. The so-called ‘God-tier’.”

Why does someone in this world know that slang? I wondered. But then, what was the point of questioning an oddball like her?

“Well, I’m going to get going. And hey, don’t just sneak onto academy grounds anymore, okay?”

“…Wait. Tell me your name.”

“Ephthal. Ephthal Alcott. And you?”

“…I’m Sheryl. I have no surname.”

“No surname?”

“…It means I’m complicated.”

“Sounds like I shouldn’t ask.”

“…Mm.”

She nodded slightly, then spread her arms wide toward me—

“…Huuug.”

And she suddenly threw her arms around me in a tight hug. Whoa, this was way too sudden. What was going on?

As I was thinking that, Sheryl looked up at me with those same sleepy eyes and said,

“…Ephthal is a good person.”

She pressed her face into my chest and started sniffing me. Sniff, sniff.

Hey, we just met, right? This oddball… She’s way too free-spirited.

“…Smells good. I noticed partway through, but you smell the same as my brother.”

“Your brother?”

“…Mm. I haven’t properly seen my brother in two years.”

Ah, a complicated family situation… This kid just radiated trouble.

“…Instead of my brother… I want you to… pat my head… ‘good girl’… I worked hard… I’ve been working so hard for so long…”

I wasn’t really sure what was going on, but her tone of voice sounded like she was about to cry. Oh, but her expression was still blank, of course. I thought about it for a second… and gave a small nod. Well, I guess there’s no harm in just patting her head. She clearly had been working hard at… whatever, I guess. I mean, she was trying to sell her underwear.

It was awkward trying to pat her head through the hood, so I reached up to pull the cat-ear hood back. But when I did… actual, real cat ears popped out from underneath it.

I froze on the spot. As I processed the situation, I thought, T-This is… Which means—

—a double cat-ear structure.

Apparently, the cat ears on the hood weren’t just for decoration, they were designed to perfectly conceal the real ones inside.

When I patted her head, Sheryl let out a quiet “Ehehe” and pressed her nose against my neck, sniffing away.

“…Fufu, brother’s smell… Smells good. Ephthal… is a good person. I don’t… dislike you.”

“Wh-Whoa, hey!”

I mean, isn’t it a little weird to press your nose directly against the neck of someone you just met and start sniffing them?

Her breathing was tickling me… Then, Sheryl tightened her arms—

“…Huuug.”

—and hugged me tightly.

Good grief… This kid really is too free-spirited. I sighed.