⁂
In the mansion’s dining room, Anastasia raised a voice of protest.
“Merlin-sama! Why does Sheryl-chan get a room in the mansion? Uu… when I live in the shed in the garden…”
“Sheryl-sama is of the Ice God Emperor’s direct line, is she not. That she should be treated differently from a useless mongrel like you is only natural—from birth!”
“That’s… how can you even say that…”
“Silence, useless mongrel! It is a hundred years too early for a dog to assert itself! A dog—belongs in a kennel!”
“Uu… that’s awful, Merlin-sama.”
It was certainly awful, and I had nothing to say in its defense. Merlin was attached to Isaac, though, so her going soft on Sheryl isn’t entirely beyond me.
Maria clapped her hands together.
“Anastasia? Before you get going about dogs, don’t you have something to be doing?”
Anastasia stood, and Maria stood after her.
“So then, Master! We’re off to cook♪”
Ah. I’d completely forgotten, but of course, tonight was the dinner to welcome Sheryl.
We waited an hour. The situation, to explain it: the moment it was settled that Sheryl would be taken into the mansion, the pair of them had gotten strangely fired up about it. “In that case, we’ll do our very best and cook!”
“Right, sorry to keep you.”
Maria came back from the kitchen with a large platter. What she’d made was fried chicken, or rather a traditional elven dish along the lines of karaage.
“Anastasia said she’d start frying after me, so I expect she’ll bring hers through later.”
“Hoh. Student Maria. This karaage… I shall grant its appearance and its aroma a passing grade.”
Merlin is fussy about food, so a mound of karaage drawing praise out of her was a rare event in itself. Then she speared a piece on her fork and took a bite. Her eyes flew wide, and she gathered the platter into her arms and set about it at a ferocious clip.
“Delicious! Delicious! What is this!”
Chomp chomp chomp!
Watching Merlin plow on with that single-minded ferocity, I drew back a little. For Merlin to actually take to something is no small matter, mind you.
Then Anastasia came pattering into the room.
“Maaaster! My karaage’s done tooo♪”
Her platter went down on the table, and the assembled company looked at it and lost the power of speech. It was purple.
It also had a smell, a pungent one. Chemical, to put it concretely. The dangerous sort of chemical. On top of which, the surface of the stuff was visibly, steadily beginning to melt into sludge.
Acid…? That gel-like liquid that looked like sauce, was it acidic? Come to think of it, the smell sat awfully close to an Acid Slime’s. Though how you contrive to build food that smells like a monster out of the ingredients in that kitchen, I could not tell you.
“I’m not eating this!”
The look and the smell were both far past dangerous.
“Master… you won’t eat it? I’m… sad.”
Anastasia’s eyes filled and she made a sorrowful face: fragile enough to break at a touch, wistful, lovely, and one blink from spilling over. Merlin saw it and clenched her fist tight.
“Ephthal-sama? Anastasia would like you to eat it, it seems?”
“No—like I said, I am absolutely not eating it!”
“Hmm… if you say so to that degree, Ephthal-sama, then I have no choice but to step forward myself. The useless mongrel did make it with all her might, in her useless way… hm.”
Maria sighed.
“Hmm… no, I’ll eat it. Not wasting food is a principle of mine. And Anastasia worked hard on it.”
“Wait, student Maria. Here, I, as the elder—”
“Merlin-sama, please don’t force yourself. I’ll eat it.”
“But that will not do, will it? When Anastasia made it with such effort. We cannot let that feeling go to waste.”
“No, no, I’ll do it. Anastasia did work hard on it.”
“You are a difficult one. I said I would eat it.”
Anastasia on the verge of tears, and the two of them looking out for her like that—somewhere in the middle of it I started to feel that refusing the food made me the one doing something wrong.
So I steeled myself and said it.
“Then I’ll eat—”
“Go ahead.” “Go ahead.” “Go ahead.”
Perfectly in sync. All three of them, Anastasia included, had thrust the platter of purple karaage out in front of me at the same instant. Dammit. They got me!
Unbelievable. I never expected to take the Da○ou Club bit in another world. And how are these three that perfectly in sync, exactly? Besides which. Technically speaking, all of them are my disciples, aren’t they? I’d had an inkling for a while now, but with Merlin at the head of it, the way I get treated when things go loose, when everybody’s cutting up, is a bit off, isn’t it?
Still, once it had come to this, eating the karaage was not something I was going to get out of. So I made my peace with it, speared a piece on my fork, and put it in my mouth, gingerly.
“Gobfa!”
It was like taking an explosion spell to the mouth. Wait. An explosion spell!?
“A-A-Anastasia? What did you put in this purple, pungent karaage?”
“Eh? Gunpowder… maybe?”
You actually used an explosive as a seasoning!?
“And… mandragora, maybe?”
That’s a narcotic!?
“And… fly agaric, for a secret note?”
That’s a certain-death note!
“A-Anyway. I said I’d eat it, so I’ll make the effort.”
And as I reached for a second piece—
“No, Master! Not a second one! That exceeds the lethal dose! From the second piece on you can’t handle it without an antidote potion!”
“You’re not even trying to hide that it’s poison!?”
“I mixed antidote potion into the drinks, so please enjoy it as you drink♪”
“You’re smiling sweetly at me and all I can see is a demon’s smile!?”
While Anastasia and I went back and forth, a fork came in from the side, and Sheryl, having taken a bite, gave a small nod.
“…Mm. Surprisingly good.”
With that, she dragged the platter over to her own place.
“Really?”
“…Mm. The look and the smell are certainly bad. And the moment it enters the mouth there is certainly an explosive shock. But chew it through, and there is a mellow, well-aged aroma. And a deep, savory richness.”
Hmm. I’d spat mine straight out, so I certainly hadn’t chewed it through and tasted anything. At a guess, it might be something on the order of natto back in Japan: genuinely good once you get past the front door.
So I speared the purple chicken again, put it in my mouth, and… no. This was awful. Far too awful. But it’s supposed to be good if you chew it. I steeled myself and bit down. And—
“Gobfa!”
Garbage. What chewing it through released was the smell of well-aged garbage.
“…Mm. For what reason are you spitting, Ephthal?”
“G-G-Garba…”
“That’s awful… are you trying to say garbage, Master?”
No good! Anastasia was welling up again!
“…Mm. In any case, what is good is good. This mellow, well-aged aroma…”
That’s the smell of garbage. Well. Sheryl gives off a strange-girl aura, so a palate with no discrimination in it wouldn’t be out of character.
“…It really is good, Anastasia. Thank you for working so hard on the cooking for my welcome party.”
“You’re very welcome!”
With tears pooling at the corners of her eyes, Anastasia started bouncing on the spot.
“…Anastasia? For what reason are you this delighted?”
“Um, uh… er… I… it’s the first time in my life anyone’s praised my cooking!”
Obviously!
And while I sat there with my face twitching—
“So Master won’t eat it after all? When the person I most want to eat it is Master… and you spat it all out.”
“Ah, no… yeah. Sorry, but I think I’ll pass on any more.”
“Uu…”
For the umpteenth time today, Anastasia’s eyes went teary, and Merlin, seeing that face, pulled a sour expression.
“If you say you dislike it, Ephthal-sama, then here too I have no choice but to eat it myself.”
“No, I’ll eat it. They taught us in the elven village that food must never go to waste.”
Merlin and Maria squaring up to the purple karaage with the faces of people who had made their peace with dying. Anastasia once again on the verge of tears. Watching the three of them, I started to feel, all over again, that refusing the food made me the one doing something wrong.
“All right, so after all I’ll just…”
“Go ahead.” “Go ahead.” “Go ahead.” “Go ahead.”
Sheryl included, every one of them reached for the platter of purple karaage and thrust it out in front of me.
A second round, no less. The Dachou Cl○b bit, run back word for word. And while I sat there with dread all over my face—
“…Fu… fufufu. Kufu… fufu.”
“Sheryl?”
“…Mm. It has been a long time since a meal was this noisy. And I think it has been about two years since I laughed out loud.”
Laughed, she said. Only with her mouth, and expressionless as ever.
“Two years?”
“…For two years I have eaten alone and had no proper conversation with anyone. Today is… fresh. A strange feeling.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on. If you want to, stay in this mansion as long as you like.”
“…Mm.”
Sheryl gave a small nod on that one. Then Maria stood, and set her palm on Sheryl’s head with a pat.
“Look, I’m sure there’s all sorts going on, but I think you can relax now. I was stubborn and alone at first too, and one way or another I ended up with a place to be.”
“…A place to be?”
“Ah, you’ll get it… eventually.”
Maria ruffled her hair roughly, and Sheryl made a troubled face.