───● The Literary High School Girl Attacks ●○●
I think every otaku out there has fantasized about this at least once.
The ideal boyfriend, the ideal date, the ideal… first kiss scenario.
Naturally, as a hardcore otaku myself, I, Shinomiya Shiori, have definitely had my fair share of fantasies.
The isekai reincarnation route, the real-world modern route. I’ve got about 20 different variations combined. Obviously, I’ve never actually been kissed, so only my collection of theoretical scenarios keeps leveling up.
More than half of these fantasies involve the other person initiating the first kiss, but no matter how much I yearn for it, that kind of event isn’t going to just trigger in real life.
Well, whatever. It’s just a fantasy, after all.
And after running through countless simulations, I’ve realized something.
Dramatic and emotionally moving scenarios are great, of course, but surprisingly simple ones are pretty nice, too.
A down-to-earth scenario that isn’t too disconnected from reality… As long as there’s love, that’s all that matters, right…?
Just kidding.
For example, it could just be at a fixed location we always meet at.
If it’s a classmate, an empty classroom.
If it’s a club senior or junior, an empty clubroom.
If it’s a cafe or bar employee, right there in the shop.
Then, what if it’s your tutor?
Exactly. Your own room.
Ever since Masato-sama, my Super Ultimate Tutor, was assigned to me, I’ve theorycrafted countless kissing scenarios with Masato-san alone.
It just goes to show how much more efficient the fantasy grind becomes when the target is clearly defined. And after considering all the various scenarios…
I came to the conclusion that my own house was the best stage.
Like confessing in my room and hugging him, and then…
Or right at the front door when I’m seeing him off…
Maybe, if it’s Masato-san, he might even initiate it himself…
I thought about it, but nah, that’s not happening. Even with Yuka-sensei, it sounded like he just let it happen to him.
That’s exactly why.
I resolved to make the first move myself.
Because I can finally say with confidence that I love him.
Just like that day I decided to stop being a potato girl.
If I don’t take action, the status quo will never change.
And so.
“I-I love you too, Masato-san!”
I mustered my courage and conveyed my feelings.
Aiming right for Masato-san’s beautiful face, I──
──Bonk.
Even if I theorycrafted twice as much as a normal person.
Reality doesn’t play out so easily.
“I am a water flea I have no reason to live please just forget about me gg.”
“W-Wait, aren’t you being a bit too hard on yourself…?”
…Yes.
Right now, I’m sitting on the floor hugging my knees under the study desk in my room, staring blankly at the floor with dead eyes.
“That just now… I mean, it might have been a bit of a blunder, but… uh, your first time is always difficult, you know?”
“I’m absolute trash who only fantasizes and acts like an expert but can’t put any of that knowledge into practice I have no right to exist I’m sorry for being alive kill me now.”
“Oh man, this isn’t good. Her spirit is completely broken…”
I really just wanted to die.
It was supposed to be my first kiss, the climax of my resolve.
And I completely botched it… I just ended up looking like some total creep smashing my face against his.
I closed my eyes, so I couldn’t aim properly. There’s no auto-aim in real life, so naturally I completely whiffed the shot and landed off-center. That’s the whole story.
“I want to just delete myself right now…”
“What do I do about this…?”
I’m fully aware that I’m currently causing a huge problem for Masato-san in real-time, but I really can’t help it right now.
Because everything is already over. It’s game over.
A girl who confessed her love but couldn’t even manage a proper kiss.
There’s no way he’d want someone like that anywhere near him.
If anything, he’d want to distance himself. If it were me, I’d instantly cut off all contact.
This is a massive blunder, on the level where he might just drop me as a student starting next week.
“U-Um… It caught me off guard, but, how should I put it… I was really happy to hear how you felt.”
“…”
“I was really happy.”
I’m not so stupid that I can’t understand the implication of that past tense.
I was happy──but.
I was happy──however.
What’s going to follow is definitely a contradiction.
I can feel my body temperature plummeting all at once.
Today might be the last time I ever see Masato-san.
Just thinking about that made me want to cry.
…No.
I know full well that I’m in no position to say this after making such a massive mistake.
But… thinking about not being able to see Masato-san anymore. Thinking about losing my connection with him… It makes my chest tighten painfully.
It’s so stupid that it took me until just now to realize that my feelings for Masato-san were a genuine romantic attachment. But even so, now that I’ve recognized this love, I absolutely refuse to give up on it.
Masato-san sat down right beside me as I buried my face in my knees.
I felt terrible about making him sit on the floor like this, but I couldn’t bring myself to lift my head right now.
“…I finally realized something recently. About how my actions and words are being perceived by the people close to me… by girls.”
All I could do was sit in silence and listen to him speak.
“To me, it was just normal behavior. I wasn’t trying to make anyone like me or anything… but I’m honestly happy that people think highly of me. However, I’ve finally realized that… acting that way with everyone might not be a good thing.”
It’s true, Masato-san is simply too wonderful. So wonderful that I’d bet any girl who spends time with him would inevitably fall in love.
“So, from now on… I’m going to stop treating everyone the exact same way. I probably won’t be able to change right away, but I’ll try my best to fix it little by little.”
I could feel my already plummeting mood sinking even further into the abyss.
…Ah, I see.
Masato-san is going to start distancing himself from me from now on.
Even after he found out I was an otaku, we’d gotten to the point where we could talk casually. I thought we’d grown so close.
I never should have confessed or tried to kiss him.
Because I got conceited and pulled a stunt like that.
God is punishing me.
I was already happy, but I got greedy and wanted more.
Maybe it’s only natural. Everything up until now was just a happiness far above my tier.
Today is the worst day of my life.
I really just want to die already──
“But,”
I felt the atmosphere shift ever so slightly.
“It’s… impossible for me to suddenly act cold toward the people I’ve already grown close to. Because I really do care about everyone. And that… includes you too, Shiori-chan.”
For some reason, I could sense a tense aura coming from Masato-san.
I knew what it was because it was the same tension I felt today when I decided to confess to him and try to kiss him.
But why?
“So, umm… I want to keep being good friends with you, Shiori-chan. As your tutor, I can’t just give you a straight ‘yes’ to your confession right now, but… if it’s alright with you, could I keep teaching you?”
“…T-That makes me really happy, of course, but…”
I was so happy he was still willing to be my tutor.
If nothing else, it meant I had successfully avoided the worst-case scenario I was imagining.
…However, the thought that I’d now permanently be etched in Masato-san’s memory as the ‘girl who sucks at kissing’ just… depressed me.
I can easily picture those trash friends of mine laughing their asses off at me in the future.
“But now you’re just going to remember me forever as the creepy girl who couldn’t even pull off a proper kiss, right?”
“No, I’m not thinking that at all!”
“Today is the worst day of my life. I completely humiliated myself. If possible, I’d like to load my save data from this morning and try again.”
“Ah, geez, okay, I get it! I get it, Shiori-chan!”
Masato-san suddenly placed his hands on my shoulders, and I looked up in surprise.
──In that instant.
A soft sensation touched my cheek.
It only lasted a second.
But it was overwhelmingly intense.
“──F-For now, can you endure with just this? This way, today won’t end up being a bad memory, right?”
I placed a hand on my cheek.
It took me a few seconds to process that he had just kissed my cheek.
“H-Huh…”
“Alright, this conversation is over! It’s time to study, come on!”
My heart began pounding violently. My emotions flared up.
At the same time, everything I had been desperately holding back completely exploded within me.
“Whoa?!”
I stood up and tackled Masato-san from behind, pinning him down onto the bed in my room.
Straddling Masato-san, I took a moment to steady my ragged breathing.
“S-Shiori-chan?”
I gazed down at Masato-san’s slightly panicked face from above…
A thrilling sensation rushed down my spine.
This is it… This is the view I wanted to see.
“Masato-san. You’re severely underestimating a virgin’s sex drive.”
“What does that even… wait—”
I didn’t let him say another word.
As if to make up for my earlier blunder, I completely devoured Masato-san.
I don’t really remember much of what happened after that.
But… I know for a fact that it was the absolute best.
“I am so, so incredibly sorry!!”
“Umm…”
Currently doing a dogeza☆
I mean, you know?
The second half was practically me assaulting him, so…
I am reflecting on my actions. But I don’t regret them in the slightest, I’m so sorry. (Huh?)
“Um, this was, how do I put it… My body just moved on its own before I even realized it, or something like that…”
“Yeah, I guess so…”
Masato-san sighed as he straightened out his disheveled clothes.
Well, I’m the one who messed them up in the first place, though.
He could seriously be charged with the crime of being way too erotic. Even though I was just doing all sorts of terrible things to him, just looking at Masato-san made me want to do it all over again. I really am beyond saving.
However, we were definitely no longer in any condition to study.
Masato-san scratched his head and let out another sigh.
“…But really, I’m the one at fault here.”
“Huh…?”
There’s no way that’s true.
If he reported this to the police… no, even without doing that, if any normal person saw this situation, 100 out of 100 of them would say I’m the one to blame.
Ah, actually, a few virgins might step up to defend me, though.
“…Up until now, I just vaguely liked everyone and figured it would be fine if we all just kept getting along. But that’s not good enough, is it.”
Masato-san’s expression was more serious than I had ever seen it.
“I need to take proper responsibility and draw the line. So, please wait for me just a little longer.”
…Maybe I had.
Maybe I was the one who pulled the trigger to make Masato-san finally arrive at a major decision. That was what I finally realized.